I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
