I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
