btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize
