Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
