Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
is it fun? or sober?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
