He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I'm just crazy horny about you
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Randomize
