I cockslap morals
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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