maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Randomize
