I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Randomize
