I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize
