I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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