there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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