How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
