You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
