Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
