oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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