So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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