I need to stop coming to work sober
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
