went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
