We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize