your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
