lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I just had sex on a roof
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