i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
