she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
did i just pee glitter
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
