That's when you crack a 10am beer
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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