jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Randomize