hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
