This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
