dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Randomize
