I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
