im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
it hurts more in the daytime
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
So squirting runs in the family.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
