it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
