well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
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