The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
