can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
