I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I wish i was in the wii world.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
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