you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
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