Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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