i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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