I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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