I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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