that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Randomize
