im about as happy as oj after his trial
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
