so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
