Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
