Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
We were destined to go to rehab together
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
