Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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