You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Randomize
