no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Naked. naked and bneed help.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
