What a fucking waste of an outfit
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Randomize
