I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Randomize
