OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
