Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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