fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
