so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Less talking, more tequila
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
