He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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