White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
