My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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