my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
