i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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