We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
